Funny how life never turns out quite how you expected it to, isn't it?
It's been years since my last journal update, and I haven't been very active in the community here for some time so I'm not sure how many of you even remember me care anymore but for those of you that do I thought I'd give you an update.
I graduated college, worked for the Red Cross for a bit as a designer and photographer (you can see some of the photos I took for them in my gallery) but had to leave to find work that I could actually make a living off of. Somehow I found myself working what should have been a dream job for one of my childhood heroes of design. I discovered quite quickly that my hero was actually highly over rated and a racist / homophobic asshole. So I stuck around long enough to help him design a museum exhibition in Germany, and publish a pretty major book and then got the hell out of that toxic environment. I landed a new job a sporting goods manufacturer as a designer where the people are much nicer and the company philosophy is much more agreeable.
I am, however, still not content.
I've come to realize that I've probably allowed myself to be pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions by life without really trying to assert myself over it and I am not on the path I want to be on. To be honest my dream is not compatible with mainstream society, and society puts a lot of pressure on people to conform to it.
No matter how pleasant my co-workers are I will never be happy sitting behind a desk all day staring at a computer screen. The wake up - commute an hour to work - stare at a monitor from 8 am to 7 pm - commute an hour home - cook dinner - go to bed - repeat forever life will drive me mad.
I probably would have just accepted that it's one of those things we all just have to deal with but something got me thinking more critically about life. One of my best friends in the world is dying. Slowly. Very slowly. Painfully. Extremely painfully. Yet for the most part she is still very positive (all things considered) and working on her PHD in astrophysics. This has got me thinking about how incredibly short and fragile life actually is. I don't have time to sit around wishing, I need to start making moves to get myself on the right path.
So I've been looking at buying some land in the middle of nowhere (the closest town is actually a ghost town and that's 30 miles away) building myself a Yurt and living in the woods producing art and living off the land. There is still a lot I need to do before I can make this a reality but I've set some things in motion already. Most of my friends and family think I'm probably kidding when I talk to them about it, but I know that if I don't try to make this happen life will continue to push me around and I will just end up miserable.
So moral of the story is,
Life is short, go live your dreams. Fuck what everyone else thinks.